Off My Noodle

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

It’s Seller Beware on eBay

(copyright Judy Gruen—for all reprint permissions, contact .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).)

The bidding on eBay for my two ergonomic chair cushions closes in 24 minutes, 43 seconds, and I just might dance a jig when it’s over. With all of us having to work so much harder for so much less in this sluggish economy, I thought I was being clever by joining the ranks of millions of other citizens and selling my castoffs online, hoping to recoup a little bit of legal tender. But after one interminable week as an eBay seller, I found the entire process a pain in the neck.

Minutes after listing my two, name-brand cushions, I received a torrent of emailed questions: “Why don’t you post photos so we know you really have these cushions?” one skeptic asked. “Why are you selling them? Is there anything wrong with them?” queried another.  “I really want this cushion. How much do you want to sell it to me right now?”

The questions were valid, but it took time to log on and answer each one. My conscience was clear: the cushions were in perfect condition. They were for sale because I had finally purchased a high-end, ergonomically correct office chair and no longer needed them. (I will never be politically correct, but at least I can aim to be ergonomically correct). I opened the bidding at only $12.00, even though each pillow had cost me about $50.00. 

To prove that I really had the cushions, I had one of my kids snap some digital photos of me holding the pillows aloft, which was the beginning and end of my modeling career. It took an inordinate amount of time to upload the photos, but after about 10 minutes, they finally seemed to stick. Each day I had at least one more question to answer: “I also live in Los Angeles. Can I pick up the cushion from your house?” “Do you have another one of these to sell?” While I kept answering questions, I didn’t even have the satisfaction of watching the bids rise – they remained disappointingly limp, never inching above $15.00.

This all became so irksome that I called my friend Harry for advice. Harry (eBay seller name 1great_hopper) has sold thousands of items on eBay over the past decade, ranging from $5.00 Jack-in-the-Box bobble heads to a Rolls Royce that had been donated to a charitable organization. Harry’s an expert on finding salable items from thrift stores and myriad other places, and knows what sells – and what doesn’t – on eBay.

“I can’t take another day of this, Harry,” I kvetched. “How do you have patience for this?”

“There’s so much competition out there now, and people can afford to be pickier,” Harry explained, warning me that sellers who call themselves collectors are often neurotic.  “Even when I describe an item as being new, with tags still on, they still ask, ‘Is this new?’ Some people don’t even read the descriptions.” Irate buyers can easily damage reputations through negative seller reviews, forcing sellers to snap to any demands for returns, even if the items sold were as described. On eBay, it seemed, the customer is always right, even when he or she is dead wrong. Making a buck isn’t as easy as it used to be, not even on eBay.

Harry assured me that with experience, I would get used to the system and might have some fun, too, but I was as skeptical as my prospective buyers. Frankly, I’d rather be writing than hawking merchandise online, but as paid writing assignments are becoming harder to find than a People magazine without Jon or Kate on the cover, I might have to keep scouring the house for other marketable items.

But wait! There is a sudden, exciting development! Bidding has just ended on the cushions, and to my shock, a last-minute bidding frenzy broke out, with one of them selling for a whopping 42 smackers! This news has quickened my pulse, and takes much of the sting out of dealing with all those pesky questions all week.

Now I’m on a treasure hunt in the small closet in my office, a neglected space I rarely visit, and have already unearthed a dusty plastic bag that has three sets of Walkie-Talkies and nearly a dozen packets of toe warmers! I have no idea why they are here, when we got them, or for what purpose, but as no one is planning a career as a Park Ranger, maybe I’ll just snap some photos of them and post them on eBay. And what’s this? A pretty, purple beaded handbag, perfect for an elegant evening out!

Of course, if I keep this up, I will risk encountering some of those neurotic buyers that Harry warned about, but I can deal with a little neurosis. After all, I have relatives, too. In a few minutes, I’ll add these odd bits of merchandise to my fledgling eBay store. Let the bidding begin!


Posted by judy @ 01:35 PM • (52) Comments