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Go Ahead, Boycott This!

Calls to divest from Israel continue to grow louder, mostly by people who wouldn’t know the truth about Israeli society or history if it hit them on the head with a drone. Some performing artists have cancelled gigs in Israel, “academics” have voted to shun Israeli colleagues, and some British stores have stopped carrying the immensely popular and environmentally friendly product SodaStream. Did those calling for this boycott stop to consider that boycotting SodaStream hurts Palestinians and Israeli Arabs most? The factory employs 500 Palestinians, 450 Arab citizens of Israel, but just 350 Jewish Israelis. Wait, that’s not “proportionate!”

Here are some actual facts about the so-called “apartheid” Israel: A female Muslim, Mais Ali-Salehm, was valedictorian in the most recent graduating class of the medical school of the Technion, Israel’s equivalent of MIT. A black Ethiopian immigrant named Yiyish Aynaw is the current Miss Israel. Colonel Rassan Alian, a Druze, is currently the commander of the elite Golani Brigade of the IDF. A Palestinian named Salim Joubran sits on the Israeli Supreme Court. But why let facts get in the way when you are bathing in a soup of fabulously ignorant self-righteousness?

I say to all these boycotters: Go ahead, make our day. Just be consistent and boycott everything that comes from the tiny Jewish state. Start with your lap top computers and cell phones. The Intel microchip processor, network firewalls, Microsoft NT and XP, keyboards for smart phones, flash drives, the ability to print straight from a computer, and much of cell phone technology were all developed by the Zionist entity. But look at the bright side: you won’t have to remember to silence your phones during the lecture you are attending on the topic of “Class and Gender Fault Lines within the Neo-Colonial White Male Establishment in the Occupy Movement.”
 
Kiss your environmentally friendly ideals goodbye. You’ll have to waste water even in drought-ravaged places such as California by using your old-fashioned hose to water your grass, because drip irrigation was pioneered in Israel. Similarly, Israeli greenhouses have pioneered many varieties of organic farming, including disease-resistant cherry tomatoes and many other toxic-free, bug resistant crops. Next time you shop for groceries or dine out, make sure to order the pesticide-ridden salads.

Do you have an Amazon Kindle? Dump it. Its Operating System is yet another Zionist conspiracy. And don’t even think about logging onto your Facebook account; much of the Facebook software ecosystem was developed in Tel Aviv, the Silicon Valley of the Middle East. To help you whittle down your reading choices, omit Jewish authors. Voila! Your reading options have just gone on an extreme diet.
 
Not sure where that new restaurant is where you plan to meet friends tonight? Don’t download the “Waze” app, which specializes in real-time crowd-sourced traffic. It was purchased by Google from an Israeli start-up for $1.1 billion. That’s billion with a “B.” But you threw away your smart phone already, so never mind.

Divesting from all things Israeli won’t be easy. For example, Israel-based Teva is the largest manufacturer of generic pharmaceuticals in the world. Your insurance company may or may not cover more expensive name brand options, so try not to get sick anytime soon. Zionist researchers are developing a wireless laser for dentists that promises to replace painful drilling when treating cavities. But let me be clear: If you like your dentist drill, you can keep your dentist drill! Israeli researchers have developed hundreds of medical innovations from everything from cancer research and diabetes treatment to new ways to close up surgical wounds without stitches or staples. Oh, and when you reach the age of 50 and your doc wants you to have a not-so-fun colonoscopy, go for it. Meanwhile, the rest of us will happily swallow the PillCam, which takes pictures from inside the colon, eliminating the need for the more invasive procedure. If you decide to upload these photos on Facebook, prepare to be unfriended by at least 400 people.

Cancer run in your family? Boycott Israel fans will have to wait for symptoms to arise, God forbid. Meanwhile, the early warning Na-Nose artificial nose, developed by those human rights abusers at the Technion, analyzes human breath to detect cancer, Alzheimer’s, and other diseases, while ImMucin, a vaccine now in clinical trials and made by an Israeli medical research company, shows promise in one day controlling cancer and tuberculosis. Like I said, try not to get sick.

If you were wowed by Google glass, get a load of this. The Israeli-created OrCam is selling out as fast as it can be manufactured because for the partially sighted, the device reads, identifies objects, personal products and money notes, with an intuitive user interface. Soon, it will be able to recognize faces and places, locate bus numbers and monitor traffic lights. Coming soon: a bionic eye that might reverse blindness.

Speaking of vision problems, it’s understandable that Israeli innovators are first tackling the problems of physical blindness. Research into the causes and cures for moral blindness are ongoing. I have every confidence that Israeli-based solutions are in the pipeline!

(This column originally appeared in slightly different form on Aish.com.)
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Judy GruenJudy Gruen has been a writer and editor for more years than she cares to confess. With a master’s degree in Journalism from Northwestern University, she is the author of three humor books and co-author of a book on MBA admissions. Her features and essays have appeared in major media outlets worldwide and in ten anthologies, and she is is a regular contributor to Aish.com.

Writing and Editing Services. Judy welcomes inquires from clients who want their words written and edited with precision, clarity and panache. .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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